So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
