A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
