I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
