Don't you send me to vm
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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