Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
