I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
