dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
