Non-Jews are for practice
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
