I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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