I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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