May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
