Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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(303): View more from Colorado

he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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(813): View more from Florida

The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.

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(207): View more from Maine

Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp

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(314): View more from Missouri

Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.

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