omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just threw up on my dentist
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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