Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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