My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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