I'm going to jail i love you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
