i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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