I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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