Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my poor anus
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize