Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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