Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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