tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
