You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
3pm strippers are depressing
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
