a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
