and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
