I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
