And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
