Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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