i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
