I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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