I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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