Betty ford says i'm here all night
i already hear my dad disowning me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
