Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
