Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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