its not stalking. its research.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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