using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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