Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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