apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
