This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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