hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
