a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize