We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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