I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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