weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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