I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
