Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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