im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
