Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
