We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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