What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
