So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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