Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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