So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
