Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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