I got chris browned last night
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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