Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
