tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
