i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She even gives head with a lisp.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
