So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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