Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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