so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
