Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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