The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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